What to do when your Teen refuses to use their NDIS funding or communicate with you

20 Aug

Many parents and carers of teens with NDIS plans find themselves stuck when their child refuses to engage with services or even discuss supports.

1. Understanding the “why”

Before jumping to solutions, it can help to explore what’s driving the refusal:

Independence & Control: Teens often want to feel in charge of their own lives and may resist anything that feels imposed.

Stigma or embarrassment: They might not want to feel “different” from peers.

Mismatch of supports: They may not like the current therapists, support workers, or activities chosen.

Overwhelm: The idea of “therapy” or “funding” can feel too clinical or adult.

2. Shifting how you talk about NDIS

Focus on goals, not services: Instead of “using your NDIS,” ask about what they’d like to do: get a job, learn to drive, join a club, get fitter, have more friends. Then frame NDIS supports as tools to reach those goals.

Use their language: Instead of “occupational therapy” → “someone to help you learn driving skills” or “someone who can help you get a part-time job.”

Give choice & control: Present options and let them pick, even if it’s a small step.

3. Practical steps if they won’t engage

Try low-pressure entry points: Instead of formal therapy, see if supports can fund something fun/skill-based (e.g. music lessons, art programs, gaming groups, social outings).

Peer mentors or younger support workers: Teens often respond better to workers closer in age who feel less “professional” and more like a buddy.

NDIS funding can sit quietly: If they refuse now, it’s okay to pause. Sometimes pushing harder makes them resist more. Plans can be adjusted later.

Use a trusted third party: Sometimes a GP, school wellbeing staff, or youth worker can open conversations more easily than parents.

4. Communication when they won’t talk to you

Indirect communication: A journal, text, or even shared notes app where they can write feelings instead of talking face-to-face.

Pick moments carefully: Teens are often more open during low-stress times (e.g. car rides, late at night, while doing an activity together).

Listen first, advise later: If they do open up, resist problem-solving straight away. Validation (“I get why that feels frustrating”) builds trust.

Supporting you to support them!

ReachOut Australia offer a Free professional coaching program for parents and carers of teens (12-18 years) in Australia.

You will receive practical and collaborative coaching for parents and carers.

Your One-on-One Support coach works with you to develop a personalised plan to support your teen, designed around your family's specific challenges and strengths.

The program includes four free online or telephone sessions to suit your schedule.

The program includes 1-4 sessions with your coach, over several weeks. You’ll have access to tools and resources to help your family build skills and focus.

Find out more here

Who is this service for?

Parents and carers in Australia who want to build their skills in supporting their 12-18 year olds with issues such as:

Anxiety and depression
Communication problems
School refusal
Alcohol and drug use
Self-harm
Aggressive behaviour
Gender and identity
Bullying

Next available sessions: Tuesday, 23 September 2025

Bookings and more info available here

What is ReachOut?

ReachOut is a safe place where young people can openly express themselves, get a deeper understanding and perspective on what’s happening in their lives, connect with people who will provide judgement-free support, and build the resilience to manage their challenges now and in the future.

Designed with – and specifically for – young people, ReachOut is 100% online, anonymous and confidential, and lets young people connect on their terms.

From one-to-one peer support to tips, stories and resources, ReachOut offers a wide range of support options that allow young people to engage in the ways they want to, when they want to.