School struggles: what’s really behind the morning battles
As families settle into Term 4, many parents are facing familiar morning battles — tears at the school gate, stomach aches at breakfast, or a child refusing to get out of the car.
Allied health experts are warning this growing issue, often called school refusal or “school can’t”, isn’t about defiance — it’s a sign a child is struggling to cope.
Occupational Therapist Amanda Trist from LiveBig explains what’s really going on, the underlying causes, and the simple steps parents and schools can take to help.
School struggles: what’s really behind the morning battles
As families prepare to head back for Term 4, many parents are already dreading the morning battles. School refusal – often referred to as “school can’t” –is an issue that spikes after holidays. But experts warn it’s not about being “naughty” or “lazy” – the child isn’t choosing to avoid school but feels unable to cope. The causes can be multiple and complex, meaning that the school refusal isn’t a diagnosis but rather the outwards symptom of other underlying challenges.
It can look like tears at the school gate, stomach aches at breakfast, or a child refusing to get out of the car – but beneath these everyday struggles is usually something deeper.
“School refusal is really complicated,” says Amanda Trist, Occupational Therapist and Area Manager with LiveBig, a specialist allied health provider supporting people with disability, including those on the NDIS. “It can stem from anxiety, learning difficulties, social struggles, sensory overload, or developmental delays. School just happens to be the place where the challenge shows up.”
Research suggests that 1 to 5 per cent of students may experience school refusal at some point.
In Australia, attendance rates have also slipped: in 2022, the average attendance rate for Years 1–10 was 86.5 per cent, down from 90.9 per cent the year before. These numbers underscore that persistent non-attendance is not rare—and it carries real academic, social and emotional consequences.
Underlying causes, not bad behaviour
These pressures often lie beneath the surface and can be easily misinterpreted. Children experiencing learning difficulties such as dyslexia, dyspraxia or undiagnosed mild intellectual disability can find school exhausting and effortful. For others, performance anxiety – worrying about handwriting, slower reading or not keeping up with peers – can quickly spill into social anxiety.
Neurodivergent children, including those with autism or ADHD, may experience classrooms as overwhelming or face difficulties with unstructured times like lunch or the playground. Physical limitations, developmental delay, or sensory sensitivities can add further stress.
“When kids reach their limit, what looks like defiance is often simply overwhelm,” says Trist. “Unfortunately, it can lead to shame and mislabelling as ‘naughty’, when what’s needed is understanding and support.”
The pathway to support
For parents, it can be hard to know where to start when every school morning feels like a battle.
The first step is not to push harder, but to pause and try to understand what’s really driving the struggle. That means looking for patterns, keeping conversations gentle, and working alongside teachers rather than feeling you have to solve it alone.
Experts recommend parents take a detective approach:
Talk gently with your child about what feels hardest at school.
Observe patterns (for example, if refusal happens on a certain day).
Keep communication open with teachers.
Seek a professional assessment to uncover underlying causes.
Early intervention through allied health supports – speech therapy, occupational therapy, psychology and behavioural support – can make a big difference. Working in partnership with teachers and schools helps children feel understood and capable.
“Parents are the experts on their own children,” says Trist. “By keeping conversations light and neutral, children are more likely to share what’s going on. From there, professionals can step in with strategies – and schools can make small adjustments that reduce pressure.”
Building resilience for Term 4 and 2026
The return to school after the holidays is a chance not only to reset routines, but also to help children build resilience for Term 4 and beyond.
“Simple strategies like consistent morning routines, breaking the day into manageable chunks, and making space for fun conversations after school can help children feel more grounded,” says Trist. “If concerns are already present, don’t wait until next year – talk to your GP and get the referral process started now. The earlier the support, the more resilient your child can feel heading into 2026.”
About LiveBig
LiveBig is a specialist allied health and assessment services provider for people with disability, including those on the NDIS. LiveBig is registered with the NDIS Quality and Safeguards Commission. LiveBig simplifies the process of accessing support services at home, via telehealth, and in the community. LiveBig is part of the Arriba Group, which includes Rehab Management, AimBig Employment, and LiveBig. For more information, visit www.livebig.com.au.
